I have a cold feeling in my core. I don't know why but it's there. It's like the cold has been following me around my house as of yesterday evening. It frightened me. I feel as though a weight has been lifted but a thick breeze has been blown. Like someone is trying to push me out of the way. The skin underneath my bottom lip is chapped. I don't know why but it's there. I noticed it as of this morning. It bothered me. I feel as though I should have been aware of this before now, but something has kept me from knowing. Like someone is trying to keep me from KNOWING. Like someone is keeping me from knowing.
I want to shave off my skin and fat from my body and i want to stick needles in my pelvis while someone watches. i want to peel off my fingernails and pour salt on the nubs. I want to lure someone somewhere, entice them and make them kneel and shut their eyes and shoot them in the back of the head and kiss their dead lips while their still warm.